My name is Lauren Beliles. I will be creating this blog in conjunction with a course on gender and communication I am taking at Metro state. I hope you enjoy my expression related to my experience with gender.
My earliest memory regarding gender came within the first week of Kindergarten. Each student in class was creating a "just like me" paper figure. This life size piece of paper was filled in with facts about each student. My hair color: brown, how many siblings I have: 1 and so on. One of the facts was my favorite color. In an instant of unknown and unnecessary panic I stated purple. I watched as the teacher wrote this on my paper with such horrible dismay, I could not figure out why but I felt I was expected to say pink. I looked at other girls' "just like me" and they did all seem to have pink listed as their favorite color. When I returned home I was upset at being different than my classmates and I tried to explain this to my father. He did not really seem to understand what the difference between purple and pink was. I also tried to explain to him that purple was not "girly" enough, again to no avail. I did not realize this at the time but my fear was that unintentionally I felt I had marked myself as what I felt to be less than the other girls. Years later as I have matured I still struggle with the concept of being satisfactorily "girly". My most recent jewelery purchase is a ring with a pink sapphire as the center stone. I did not buy it to reflect my commitment to my "girly" status I simply liked the ring. I was quickly reminded however at the significance put on things like color differentiation between men and women as a very dear friend commented at lunch "I like your new ring, it's so beautiful but, I don't know if it suits your personality, it's not like your much of a girly girl". I guess no matter how much one matures there may be no running from cultural norms.
